I don't have much time tonight to write much, but I do want to express my gratitude for the grace, mercy, and love from God.  I was able to attend my 12 step meeting tonight, and the love, compassion and struggle and fight for life was so strong there.  I was grateful to hear the hope and strength that the individuals there shared.  It has been quite some time since I have actually felt love from my Heavenly Father, but tonight, even if it only did last for a short moment I felt that he did love me.  And that I am his child.  It was a nice feeling.  it was nice to be in a room full of people who I felt could understand and relate with me in some way.  I could feel peace for just a moment, and it was nice.  This week so far has been kind of hard.  I have really struggled with accepting myself.  Sometimes I just hate myself so much that I want to jump out of my skin, or hurt or punish myself in some way.  I've had a hard time with feelings of inadequacy, but I know that through the help of God I can move towards a place where I can love and accept myself for who I am, the way I am, without having the desire to want to change myself in order to fit in or to 'feel' 'good enough'.  There is a lot of truth in the fact that one needs to get to a place where they can love themselves to fully love others as well.  Well, I'm going to get myself some Zzz's and start fresh tomorrow with a new day, with new possibilities!!

"Life is way too short to spend another day at war with yourself."