This morning when I was taking a shower and after I got out, my bathroom was all steamy from how hot my shower was.  It reminded me of when I was at the Center, there was this one room where the smoke detector was super sensitive.  So, whenever I took a shower I would set off the fire alarm. haha, good thing I wasn't in that room for too long.  I always felt so bad especially for the new girls that they would get woken up by the ear piercing sound of the fire alarm.  It was super funny though because when the fire alarm goes off then we all have to go outside (just part of protocol with the fire alarm going off an all), so since I would set it off in the morning when everyone was getting ready we would all be in our towels naked and wet or half way done getting ready and the techs would come by rounding us up to go outside.  Ya don't even worry that this was all in the middle of winter up in Orem so it was all snowy and freezing and there was always a few who were wet and wrapped up in a towel ha.  Oh man, those were some good mornings.  I'm pretty sure every one hated me whenever I'd shower:)  Oh well, you have to find joy and laughter in the small stupid things in life, especially in a place like that! 

I want to share a poem that I wrote:

I pray to got to take me
Relieve me of this hell.
Let me die.
disappear into nothingness.
Empty
Each passing day is like the one before.
I am a broken soul
Housed inside the one thing
I despise.
The images of what I should be,
and what I should accomplish 
to be considered
accepted and beautiful to this world
linger in my every thought.
I am not good enough.
Punishment; I deserve this.
My mind thrives from the pain,
the release I feel as the blood 
drips from my body.
Scars represent the bad
that I am.
I feel shame and guilt for 
simply being me.
A new seed is planted.
It stretches forth its roots.
Soaking up the sun.
Thriving.
Time; slowly it ticks away.
Storms come, it seems
as if there is no mercy.
My soul is anguished
my heart hardened.
God is good.
He is forgiving and loving
Just when it seems like all is lost,
destroyed, hopeless,
He extends his hand 
from above.
My weak helpless body lies
still.
Soaked from the moisture
that leaks from my broken
soul.
He cares.  He mends the pieces
that I no longer can.
I am spared, yet again.
I am reminded of the gift that I am.
That my body is.
I am blessed.
Vibrance is restored again.
Slowly the roots find their familiar
place within the ground
and hold tight.
Unwilling to let go.
They are strong
beaten and thrashed around
it is not easy.
Glimpses of the beauty of 
this life are flashed before
the windows to my soul.
Laughter fills my heart.
Steadily; strong it beats.
Not going to give.
Once i was weak. I listened 
to the darkness that filled
my mind. Lonely and detached 
Now I am strong.
A fighter.
My life is guided by faith.
True knowledge.  It lies in the
center of my being.
Steadily it beats. Constant
I am filled with hope and light.
I am happy.
This is my life.
I have been given such a beautiful gift.
Grateful is how I feel.
Although I cannot always feel
Him; I know he is there,
holding my hand guiding 
me through this journey
of Life.
i am loved.  It is not easy. I cry
and at times I loose hope.  I continue to be 
carried through the tumbling 
fierce waves that try to
tear me down and eat away at my every 
fiber.
But I will thrive.  I choose to live.
To embrace this gift.